The Noble Cucumber Sandwich.

The cucumber sandwich, quintessentially posh and quintessentially British.

I’ve always been partial to them myself despite having the blood of a pauper, the shame!

With summery weather now at hand they are a perfectly refreshing summer treat, so by golly I shall have them!

To fill you in on what a British Cucumber sandwich is to me would be simple.

To me the cucumber sandwich is like other mortal sandwiches expect with cucumber.
The ingredients are simply cucumber, white bread, some butter and some salt, I think you can figure out the recipe on that one.

I consider myself to be relatively sane and gosh darn it I naively thought after years of cooking I knew how to make a sandwich, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The cucumber sandwich is no mortal sandwich.

I have found I am but a seed, never to grow into an oak tree in the fine and delicate art of cucumber sandwich making.

How did this faithful day on which my entire cooking life turned to fodder on the breeze occur?

Cucumber Sandwiches

Oh how I curse you Wikipedia.
For had I never known I had not the skill needed, I could have lived on in ignorance and peace….

For those of you brave and able, I enclose the following description of the craftsmanship, the sacrifice and the lifelong difficulty of the regal and most noble cucumber sandwich.

“As the thinness of the bread is a point of pride in the kitchen, a dense-textured white Pullman loaf is cut with a wide-bladed knife, which guides the cut; daylight should pass through the resulting fine pores.

The peel of the cucumber is either removed or scored lengthwise with a fork before the cucumber is sliced.

The slices of bread are carefully buttered all the way to the edges in the thinnest coating, which is only to protect the bread from becoming damp with cucumber juice, and the slices of cucumber, which have been dashed with salt and lemon juice, are placed in the sandwich just before serving in order to prevent the sandwich from becoming damp enough to moisten the eater’s fingers.

The crusts of the bread are cut away cleanly and the sandwich sliced diagonally twice, creating four small triangular tea sandwiches.”

In short my friends.. we are not worthy of such magiks.


Picture copyright of its original owner.

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